大了...不小了...

26/8/2011


这几天...都没有时间更没有心情来这里更新....

我想...我身边比较熟的朋友和我老婆都知道我家里发生什么事了....

当我知道这个恶梦时....我接受不了。

我听了就立刻掉泪了...

早上的他还好好的...还载了我去巴士站搭巴士....

我永远...永远都会记得....

我最后一句和他说的话....

" 爸爸....bye bye..."

我就下车了。

这次就真的bye bye了....

以前的我真的觉得自己很幸福....

有个那么疼我的爸爸...还有一个又傻又笨的妈妈....

我其实很简单...我什么都不求....

我每次都想要的是...一家人一起吃东西...逛街...

我就觉得很开心...很幸福...很满足...

因为都是一家人....

可是现在不同....他没说一声就走了....

我听了这坏消息的第一句话是....

'' 我要活生生的爸爸...我要他回来!! ''

我到现在又恨他又爱他....

恨他...为什么不去看医生。

恨他...为什么要丢下我们。

恨他...真的舍得我们么。

恨他...不对我们负责人。

恨他...看不见我毕业...过21岁的生日....

恨他...为什么要我们为你流泪。

爸爸....我真的很疼你...很爱你....

虽然你在别人面前并不好....

可是你在我心里...在这个家里....

永远都是个好男人...负责人...疼爱家庭的人....

你永远都是我的好爸爸。

我很早就想好了....

等我读完书....出来做工了....赚钱了....

就带你们去玩....请你们吃好的....

给你们知道...我是你的好孩子....

我虽不聪明....也很懒....但只从SPM....我要更发奋了....

可惜的是....你再也看不见了....

当我毕业时....照片里就只有我和妈妈....你不在了。

你知道我这几天有多累么?

你知道我这几天有多伤心么?

我累到....睡不着。

伤心到....越要是坚强...我就更软弱。

你可以看见我和朋友笑得多开心....玩得多高兴。

这都是假的。

我能笑不代表...我没事了。

我哭泣不代表...我伤心了。

而是...

我真的爱你...真得很想念你...很需要你...很舍不得你....

你知道我每晚上都在等你回家么?

或许你认为我在上Facebook....不去睡觉。

爸爸...你错了。

我等你....因为你夜回家...怕你有什么事。

我等你....因为当你回到家中....我就能安心的睡觉。

现在再也等不了你回家。

因为你不再回家了。

就算等你....你也不会回来了。

你知道现在你的女儿还有你的老婆...很无助...很伤心...很想你...

你女儿和你老婆都很需要你....

为什么要选择离开我们?

亲朋戚友都说....要好好看着你妈妈~

还有现在你要撑起这个家...

爸爸....我要怎么撑起这个家啊....?

我不是正真的男人!!

我还需要别人疼我...爱我...

你还没有尽完你的责任就走了....这是你么?

我需要很长的时间去接受你的不在。

或许很难受....每天都哭....

不过...我相信爸爸会给我力量去振作起来。

让我有力有心去撑起这个家....

我知道身边的朋友和我老婆都很担心我....关心我...

谢谢你们...

老婆...谢谢你...

我不会让自己垮下来的。

还有两个重要的人...

等待着我的照顾...我的保护....等我养...

告诉自己....

就算不行....都要行。

爸爸...我爱你。

从没说过给你听....

对不起....





Mr.Lazy Boii

不接受? no..... =]

21/8/2011



今晚我的宝贝不开心噢.....

怎么办好....??

其实...我不知道要怎么办....到底要怎么做.... =[

很想立刻抱紧她....让她不再去乱想....

可是....就只能在想~~~~~~~实现不了 =[

对不起....傻瓜~~

在你需要我的时候....我却不在你的身边....

宝贝...不要胡思乱想了.....

老婆是个怎样的人....

老婆就算是变了....和以前不同了....

我都接受!

我认真的....大声地....我接受!!

无论老婆变了什么性格...变得什么样都好....

老公都是爱你...

上天让我遇见你....是一种安排....

如果没有我们尝试去接受大家....

我想....今天的我们只是普通朋友...

从一开始....大家都在努力...都在尝试....

大家都放了很多的爱....努力....和第一次的经历在我们的感情路上....

我不会因为你的改变和性格....就放弃你....

这不是我...赖雅亿

你选对人了....=]

我的人哦....

要我很有耐心去等待...

要我认真地去做一样事情给你....

我都能做到给你。

我认真...就真的很认真....

老婆更选对我了.... :P

我是个很重感情的人....

我不会乱乱去伤害别人....

我都很珍惜身边的人事物....

只从有了你出现在我的生命中....

我很幸福...很开心...

我感受到什么是爱....

所以...老婆改变了...或有这些性格...

不要特意去改....

将子才能做回正真的你....

还有...不要再说自己没有用了....

只不过...现在老婆还没发现到罢了....

自己的长处是要靠自己去发现的...

别人是帮不了....因为她不是你....

加油!!! 我的女人... =]

要和老公一样 :P
常常把笑容挂在嘴边 XP
笑一笑 :D
Smile :)
没烦恼 XD

Mr.Lazy Boii

最近的我们....

18/8/2011



你真的累了么....?

我以前会一直以为....

我不花心...不背叛你...只一心一意的去疼爱你...

你就不会觉得累...有压力...有烦恼....

可是现在不一样了....

就算我做得再好....就算我有多爱你....就算我有多为了你....

你还是会累....不想去维持了....

原来我一直都错了....

以为自己很爱你...就不会伤害到你...

现在的我越是爱你....就越是伤害了你...

你说过...你不喜欢不成熟的男人....

我已经尝试让自己改变....

从幼稚的我...要变得成熟又稳重的我...

现在来不及让你看见了...

你也说过....你那么笨~到了那天....你也不知道是什么原因和理由...

是的....我真的很笨...笨到无可救药...

以前的我们都很确定的说.....

我们会到明年的20/2/2012....

可是现在....就连第6个月的纪念日也过不了....

还说什么明年的20/2/2012....

我很想对你说....

能不要那么快否定我们的感情么?

给我多一次机会去弥补我的错误....

就当我求求你....

我真的爱你...我真的不能没有了你...

当你已不在我的身旁....

我真的不知该怎么办....

没有人在早上时分吵醒我....

没有人从早到晚都一直骂我....去吃东西...

没有人在我背后默默的支持我....

没有人再改变我....

没有人再让我知道什么是...自动自发....

没有人让我有动力去写专属我们的日记....

没有人能够让我去依靠了....

没有了这与众不同的安全感...

除了你....没有人了。

我不要上天给我们这样的考验....

我考不起....

我也不要考....

我想要的是....

我和你简简单单的....平平凡凡的....开开心心的....幸福的过每一天....

我到现在....还不明白....

我们到底怎么了?

你怎么会感觉累了?

是我做错了什么吗?

是什么事让你累了....让你不想去维持了?

是我伤害了你的心么?

我只知道....

我现在无时无刻都很想你....都很担心你....

我更知道....

我没有了你....我是多么的不习惯....

我说过....

如果那天来了....我会不断地去哄回你....

就算要我跪在你的面前....求你回到我的身边....

我都愿意....

我不再理会别人的目光....

我现在要的...想的...都是你...

我爱你....




Mr.Lazy Boii

Strange

10/9/2011


strange night.

strange feeling.

don't know how to explain.

switch off the light.

stay in the dark place.

hear my lovely song.

to feel the strange feeling.

started at yesterday night.

am I too stress or emo person?

can u don't always perfunctory me?

I already try to do the best.

I know I'm the most worse person in this world.

I can't make anything perfect.

only get worst.

I know I can't make any promise to you.

coz the promise will make you get more hurt from me.

I know I'm useless.

do you feel happiness now?

am I have given happiness to you?

or....it's not happiness.

is burden?

I can't give you forever.

I can't give you anything that you need it.

no house...no car...and not a real man.

do you will remember our relationship until dead?

no matter you have married to someone else.

I'm so proud to myself.

coz I have had you is enough to me.

although I love you so much.

no one will know how deep that I love you.

no one will feel it.

they will only know how sad of me....

when that day come.

tonight I'm recognition myself...I'm thinking too much and much....

can I hug you now?

can I kiss you now?

can I cry in front of you?

now I knew it...I'm a weaker.

not the strong guy that you want me to be.

I'm sorry that I can't giving you everything.

I love you that I really love in my deep heart.

my mind full of lap sap now.

always think too much.

enough! stupid LB.




Mr.Lazy Boii

I'm x ok

4/8/2011


today is wat day?

can someone tell me?

at morning time we quite good...

but started at afternoon....not good at all until night.

not because our problem...is my problem.

afternoon Diamond HR department call to me...

said my salary came out...can go and take it.

actually I should Happy like Heaven...

but not happy anymore....

have reason but I wanna keep it in my heart.

others people said me Emo....

actually I'm not.

juz feel like today....unhappy.

maybe this is your personality....cant change anymore...

and I will try to accept it....

tired and sleep now....




Mr.Lazy Boii

Fine =]

3/8/2011


today.......so late go to school.

if I late more 10 mins....suck already...

but~!!

the lecture late than me...==

he late more than 1 hour....><

whole class people waiting for him...

then I take out my Netbook to on9...

1030am....finally he came.

he late because he need go to hospital to take care her wife...

Congratz to him^^ coz his wife gave birth to a daughter...

he gave us to choose what project we want to do....

then we all choose the Artist Book...

it's look quite Easy....

but if want the Artist Book be a Special and high mark....

our mind must Creative to do it....

I believe myself can do it...^^

the important point is to Enjoy it...and Learn =]

after 3D Design class....

is English Communication Class....

wow....quite many things need to writing...speaking...Assignment ==

then she ask us go out one by one....

to Self-introduction....(sweat)

first time....really first time~

I introduction myself speak in English....

when I in front of them....my inside heart so Nervous...

outside my face....no emotions....==

hahaXD

actually my Group B quite good ^^

lunch time....

I have worry about me when lunch time coming....

coz I haven make friends at college....

suddenly....one guy ask me wanna Join them.

ok!! hahahaXDXD

then ate lunch with them =]

I faster tell this Good New to my dear ^^

today quite good =]

like today...^^

tomolo and friday.....I Dun Have Class ^^

ahahahXD

But I'm not free too....

I need to do my homework....

using 2 days doing my homework then Saturday go out with dear....

not over it....:)




Mr.Lazy Boii

little bit

2/8/2011


yesterday and today....

what a tired on this two day...

suddenly I like my class :P

not because of I make some friends at there...

is because can back home early...

and drawing always =]

today have my 1st assignment...

to me not Terrible...

because it's easy now...maybe after few weeks...

the assignment will be so hard to do...

yesterday I have talk to them....

and today also....

but~~I juz ask Question...

because my English so worse...

must will not Understand what lecture said...

I must ask them coz I wanted do my homework...

then that's all for this two days...

actually....I'm ok...

I dun have unhappy or moody...

juz....normal mood...

nothing special....because I'm a Nothing Special Person.

maybe later and later will have some friends at there....

dun know when the time come....make friend with them

dear....no need blame yourself...

you already doing good job in our relationship =]

I so happy and glad to myself...

because I have a good wife and always beside of me....support me =]

you want me promise you on that thing...

ok...I Promise.

but...start now I wont easily to cry...

I want to be your strong husband and protect you.

I will tell all of my thing to you...

although is Happy thing or Unhappy thing...=]

dear...dun worry about me =]

I'm ok :)

if not...I will tell to you =]

not here lah....in our message and diary =]

I love you...dear~

time gone fast....now is August.

820 is our Half Year =]

I'm very very love you...>3<

do you hear me...?? shagua~



Mr.Lazy Boii